I totally suck at blogging!!! I have so much going on in my life that it's hard to add one more thing. Well I don't have a lot going on, just I have a lot of work!! I may try doing video blogs, but then there is the editing and all that. Just another thing on my to do list.
So I am back to work and I have to admit I really missed it. I was so worried about coming back and being overwhelmed, but it wasn't too bad. Right now I'm feeling overwhelmed dealing with one case that is taking up much of my time.
On top of work my beautiful Great Dane, Jewel is injured and there is nothing the vets can do. I have an appointment tomorrow for euthanasia. I am so heart broken over it. My house, my heart, and my soul will be so empty. It infuriates me when I spend countless hours in the field telling people they need to take care of their animals and they don't seem to care. They don't realized the wonderful gifts that they have tied to the tree in the back yard or locked up in the barn. Is is so sad!
I'm hoping to be more active in blogging and will start blogging on different topics. Perhaps I'll make this an animal welfare blog.
Bright Blessing to All,
~JenniRae~
Friday, August 13, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
I'm a blogger!!!!!
So I don't even know what I'm suppose to do? What am I suppose write about? Let start with what made me decide to start blogging. I'm 33 years old and I'm having a pre mid-life crisis. I am currently employed as Humane Agent for the state I live in, and spend my days investigating animal cruelty complaints. Cool huh? Well, not really. I began the job back in 2003 and became obsessed with the job until 2006 when I had a complete break down. I left the department and went back to school. Once school was done, I ended coming back to the department, but relocating to another part of the state. And here I am again, completely broken into a million pieces for the second time. This time I reached out for help and starting seeing a psychiatrist. That was a huge step for me, considering I'm not one that talks about my feelings. So not only is this a healing processes for me, but a learning one as well.
The doctor diagnosed me with post traumatic stress disorder, which I just thought I was suffering from compassion fatigue. I guess it was worse then I had thought. For 3 weeks, I could not get out of bed. The only comfort was the pillow and warm fluffy comforter encasing me as I spent countless hours sleeping, watching YouTube videos, and thinking about every thing I had done wrong in my life. Laying there in my puddle of self hate and helplessness waiting for someone to come save me. I realized that no one could save me, it is up to me to save myself. I must put my arms around me and give comfort to myself. Give myself patience and kindness, and in those dark moments, just sit quietly and hold my own hand until they pass. I must be my own hero!
So when I finally got out of bed, I thought back to when I was the happiest in my life. It was about 3 1/2 years ago, when I was renting this 1970's mobile home in the middle of now where. There was dark paneling on the walls, gold shag carpet, but it was BEAUTIFUL!!!! The window were big, I woke up to the sun rising over the mountains and the deers feasting on apples in my back yard. I painted, I wrote, I made jewelery, I refinished furniture, I sewed, I breathed!!!! Those were the missing pieces of me. I found them! Now it's time to get the hot glue gun out and put em' back in place.
So with this rekindling of my art flame, I have turned the shed into an art studio and I am creating. Yesterday I drew for the first time. I mean really tried drawing, not just stick figures and little bubble doodles you draw while talking on the phone. I was very inspired by Suzi Blu's art (I'll talk more in another blog about my new obsession with this women) and some of her students art. Because I really don't know what I'm doing, I copied their idea. Plagiarism I know. But I'm not going to sell them, and we all have to start from somewhere.
So this drawing was inspired by one of Suzi's student's work. Like I said, I have NO idea what I'm doing. I just picked up the colored pencils and started drawing. Although I have realized that I am very good at drawing noses!!! Eyes on the other hand....... NIGHTMARE!!!!
This was inspired by Suzi Blu's Elizabeth
Paint the world with love!!!!!! Hugz'n'Kizzez!!!!! ~jennirae
The doctor diagnosed me with post traumatic stress disorder, which I just thought I was suffering from compassion fatigue. I guess it was worse then I had thought. For 3 weeks, I could not get out of bed. The only comfort was the pillow and warm fluffy comforter encasing me as I spent countless hours sleeping, watching YouTube videos, and thinking about every thing I had done wrong in my life. Laying there in my puddle of self hate and helplessness waiting for someone to come save me. I realized that no one could save me, it is up to me to save myself. I must put my arms around me and give comfort to myself. Give myself patience and kindness, and in those dark moments, just sit quietly and hold my own hand until they pass. I must be my own hero!
So when I finally got out of bed, I thought back to when I was the happiest in my life. It was about 3 1/2 years ago, when I was renting this 1970's mobile home in the middle of now where. There was dark paneling on the walls, gold shag carpet, but it was BEAUTIFUL!!!! The window were big, I woke up to the sun rising over the mountains and the deers feasting on apples in my back yard. I painted, I wrote, I made jewelery, I refinished furniture, I sewed, I breathed!!!! Those were the missing pieces of me. I found them! Now it's time to get the hot glue gun out and put em' back in place.
So with this rekindling of my art flame, I have turned the shed into an art studio and I am creating. Yesterday I drew for the first time. I mean really tried drawing, not just stick figures and little bubble doodles you draw while talking on the phone. I was very inspired by Suzi Blu's art (I'll talk more in another blog about my new obsession with this women) and some of her students art. Because I really don't know what I'm doing, I copied their idea. Plagiarism I know. But I'm not going to sell them, and we all have to start from somewhere.
So this drawing was inspired by one of Suzi's student's work. Like I said, I have NO idea what I'm doing. I just picked up the colored pencils and started drawing. Although I have realized that I am very good at drawing noses!!! Eyes on the other hand....... NIGHTMARE!!!!
This was inspired by Suzi Blu's Elizabeth
Paint the world with love!!!!!! Hugz'n'Kizzez!!!!! ~jennirae
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)